so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
