We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
