You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
