Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
