i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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