I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
