But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
