I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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