Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
