you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
