Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
