the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
