the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
