I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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