just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
