and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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