Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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