nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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