There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dignity is for republicans.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
