I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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