He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
