It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
