He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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