sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
