Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He better not be in your backpack
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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