I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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