she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
