My room smells like vodka and shame
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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