Soap is not a condiment
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
