I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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