She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
