I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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