My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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