my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
