U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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