Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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