Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
