We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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