marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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