I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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