i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
