when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Randomize
