he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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