i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
