Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
