Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
