you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
