oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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