i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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