how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
