what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
