so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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