She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
